She remembers, trigger warning!

December 7, 2013 at 11:44 pm Leave a comment

she sits in the sitting room with her foster mom. her foster mom holds her as she screams in pain. the flashbacks begin to flood her. she shakes violently…she thinks it will never stop. over and over, her foster mom tells her she is safe, safe…nobody ever said that word to her before she came to live with her foster family. what is safe? what does that even mean? she doesnt feel safe. inside is chaotic. everybodys talking at once. everyone is remembering horrific abuse. she begins to spew angry words.

“i hate you”

“kill me”

“i want to die”

“you dont love me, nobody loves me”

“why dont you just give me back to the HSE?”

she exhausts herself and falls flat on the floor. her foster mom sits beside her rubbing her back…telling her to let it all out and it will be ok. she’ll call her therapist as soon as she is calmed down. this was how it was for us earlier this evening. we feel somewhat better now thanks to our awesome foster mom, and our awesome therapist, who sucks sometimes too, but we love her all the same.
ali

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