family stuff

November 27, 2013 at 12:55 am Leave a comment

Talking about our family is so hard. We’re all so messed up, me and my brothers and sisters. One of our sisters is so messed up that nobody wants to foster her. She’s only 12, and she has reactive attachment disorder. That makes her do things like lying and stealing. She cant bond with anyone. She had a foster mom and she didnt bond with her. Now she’s in residential and she hates it. And I hate it, too. It makes me sad that no one wants her. I feel lucky that we have a good foster mom who really gets it and who really cares. I worry that some day she will say she’s had enough of us and send us to residential too. She says she wont and so I try to believe her. Our social worker came over today. She said our bio mom is still in drug treatment to get off heroin. She’s been there since September. I hope she doesnt get off of it. I know that is selfish but I dont want to go back living with her. If she gets clean I’m scared the judge will order all of us her kids to live with her again. That is one of my worst fears. I told my social worker that I never want to see her again. All she said was that I should give her a chance, that drugs and mental illness prevented her from being capable of caring for us. But thats bullshit in my opinion. I have a mental illness and if I had children I’d care for them properly. Having a mental illness is not an excuse to abuse your kids. My mom doesnt deserve a chance. I’ve suffered enough hurt at her hands. I dont want to give her another chance to hurt me all over again. I want to stay with our foster mom until we age out. I hope we’ll always be part of our foster moms family. I really love her. She’s been more of a mom to me than our bio mom ever was.

Emily

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