the pain of never belonging to anyone

October 17, 2013 at 1:54 pm 1 comment

you know what i hate about being a foster kid? it is the sense of not belonging anywhere or to anyone. i hate that i am famliless. if only my foster mom could adopt me then i’d be somebodys kid finally. i dont consider our bio mom to be my mom, because she never cared about me or us in any way…all she did was hurt us and abuse us and torture us every day that we were living with her. now we’re in foster care, its supposed to be different. we have a family, but still, at events where all the family are together we feel left out in th cold. we are not really a part of their family, we’re just the foster kid that they took in because nobody else wanted us. i feel sad writing that. i just want to belong to someone for real. our foster mom says she’d love to adopt us but the legislation isnt in yet. in ireland if the bio parents are married then their child cant be adopted even if they’re in foster care since they were very young. isnt that stupid? i think it is. im just feeling very alone right now with all this stuff. my head gets real fucked up thinking about it all.
ali age 9


Entry filed under: Alters, Did, Dissociation, Dissociative identity disorder, Foster care, Foster child, Fostering, Mental health, Mental illness. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

K.C remembers triggered!

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Domenia  |  May 29, 2014 at 5:04 pm

    My mom watched and knew her boyfriend was raping her two twins and did nothing.

    My mom knew I was being abused by my twin brother and did nothing.

    My mom beat and left scars for life. I am 22 and I am still searching for a home and a family to call mine.

    I can’t love her. I can only respect her as much as I respect a random stranger.

    Emily stay strong, you will get through this. I am so sorry your heart is broken and there is an empty void in your heart. It wont always be like this.

    Keep writing. I will be you foster blogging sister. email me if you want I will read and listen:


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