Calls to childline tonight

October 13, 2012 at 12:06 am Leave a comment

I should have known better than to try to talk to a chic I didnt know, never talked to before from childline. Any time I do things like that, usually they end pretty badly. Tonight was no exception. I took control though, I was the one who actually hung up and ended our conversation. O I did try, for like 10 minutes, but it was so obvious Cathy didnt like me, or want to deal with my anger outburst, she kept saying it sounds like you dont want to talk, the thing is, I did want to talk, and I probably would have, but hell I dont know her, I am not going to spill my freakin guts to a stranger on our very first attempt at chatting! She kept saying all the wrong things, freaking me out, and the thing is I rang cause I was pretty close to a melt down, and I needed help. And I though I could talk to someone to talk me out of the melt down. Yeah I was pretty mean to her, I told her to shut up, I called her stupid, I said some shitty things, but she was a total bitch, she wasnt doing a good job, as a trained volunteer, she sucked. So I ended that conversation. I debated whether I would ring back right away, but man I was struggling so much, the memories were bad, my head hurted, I felt physically sick, I needed someone, so I rang back. I talked to Amy, she’s great. We had a good chat. And I am ok now again. I didnt have a melt down. I learned a few truths. I came to some realisations about myself. So all in all a good chat.

Ali

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Entry filed under: Alters, Childline, Dissociation, Dissociative identity disorder, Flashbacks, Inside kids, Memories, Triggers. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

ali-i like this one quote talkin to tara tonite

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