People really freak me out

September 2, 2012 at 11:33 pm Leave a comment

I am so scared by people. People looking at me, people being near me, touching me, talking to me, just most everything about people scares me. Unless I know you well, I am unlikely to speak to you. If someone tries to hug me, I pull away. A lot of us do that. We cant take hugs from anyone. Its abnormal to us. I dont ever remember being hugged when I was little. If I was there was always something behind it, some other motive. I freeze up if I have to talk to someone I dont know. Today i was over at my foster moms nieces house. Her friend came in and I froze. I actually switched, it caused us to switch so someone who could deal with her came out instead. Its not unusual. She noticed too. The other girl, her friend didnt notice. But then she doesnt know us and that we are multiple. I’ve been thinking a lot because my therapist says we need to work on the people thing. Its so scary to me, to all of us. Or most all of us. A few of the inner kids arent scared of people, they were actually created to act like they loved people. Of course it doesnt help that part of our abuse was by groups of people. Friends of our parents. That really doesnt help. It says to us no one is safe. No person is safe. I guess we will have to work on it over the next while.

Emily

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Entry filed under: Alters, Host, Host post, Inside kids, Messed up moments, Switching. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

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