sick of being sick

August 8, 2012 at 7:39 pm Leave a comment

i am so sick of being sick. i am ready to be done and feel better. i hate being sick. it was never ok to be sick when i lived with my real mom and dad. if we were sick there was punishment. we were bad if we werent well. we were not allowed to be sick. it was against the rules because our mom and dad didnt care about us. they didnt want to help us if we felt sick. it was too much trouble. its so confusing now because its ok to feel unwell. our foster mom says it is ok. but how come it doesnt feel ok? it feels wrong. we are wrong for needing things. it is scary and we shouldnt need stuff. it is just wrong. yesterday our foster mom took us to the doctor. he said we have a throat and lung infection and he gave us two different antibiotics. they are starting to kick in today. but i hate the waiting to feel better. i want to feel better now. being sick triggers so much stuff inside of us. it is not a nice feeling. i just want to be normal again. we were actually sick since last week. but we hid it from everyone. the only reason our foster mom found out was because she heard us coughing in the middle of the night. so she knew we had a cough. plus she took our temperature yesterday so she knew we were running a fever. we always hid being sick from people in the past. so it is like normal to do it now too. we dont like to ask for things. cause it isnt ok to need or want or expect help. it is just not ok.

ali

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Entry filed under: Alters, Foster mom, Inside kids, Insiders, Medical, Triggers. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , .

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