dont ask…please

August 4, 2012 at 10:20 pm Leave a comment

why does my foster mom always ask me how do things make me feel?

feelings are for the birds. they are just….well i hate them. and if you didnt know, i hate discussing my feelings. cause i am not weak. i should not be feeling shit. and if i do i should keep it hidden. keep things to myself.

i just dont like being vunerable and putting my shit out there. people only hurt you. they tell you they wont and then they do it anyway. they say they are going to be there through it all, through everything and then they just leave. i hate it so i dont let myself get close to anyone. its my protective thing.

the thing is i have gotten close to my foster mom. very close. and now i am scared. i am scared it will all fall apart. she will leave us.

she says she wont. i want to believe her. i dont though. its hard to really believe anyone, we been lied to so much before.

sighs…

ali

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Entry filed under: Alters, Did, Dissociation, Dissociative identity disorder, Foster care, Foster child, Foster family, Foster mom, Inside kids, Insiders, Memories, Triggers, Trust. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

All that I’m living for bed is calling but we dont wanna go

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