Wanna die die die so bad?

June 5, 2012 at 7:53 am Leave a comment

i feel so clingy, and that upsets me. why do i always feel like a outsider, worthless, like im nothing. i dont matter. why. i hate it so much. it hurts. why do I always feel i need reassurances, need hugs and comforting so
bad? why does my body, my heart and my soul ache for it? sometimes, I catch myself just
following all the outside family around the house hoping someone will stop, turn around and hug me.
and, I know that a lot of the other kids here do it too. I can’t tell you how pathetic that makes
me feel. maybe i dont deserve them or else they’d automatically hug me even if its emily they think they hugging. i wouldnt care. i just want a hug so bad right now. i wonder if pat would hug me if i asked. probly not she probly think we dirty disgusting gross pieces of rubbish who did nasty disgusting things and we’re poison and i bet she think she get germs from us. maybe that what our family thinks of us too. we’re contagous and if they hug us they will catch our illness. they wont though. they cant. i want die i really want to.


Entry filed under: Dissociative identity disorder, Tough stuff. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Crisis feelings… lonly

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